Siblings -- Part One

I'm an only child. This means I grew up with just me and my parents -- both of them. I'm extremely grateful for having not just any male and female to grow up with; I actually had my biological mother and my biological father there to guide me through the maze of life...I digress, something that is common for me. There was no sharing, no sibling fights, no taking turns, no one to play with, no one to get scared with, no hand-me-downs, no one blame, no one to get in trouble with.

For the first 10 years of my life I hated the fact that my parents would not, or could not, provide me with a sibling...preferably an older brother. I was always fascinated by those with an older brother, and it just didn't make sense why they would not grant me this request. I really felt that I need an older brother to guide me. Of course, I was convinced that my parents just didn't tell me everything I needed to know socially. This "older brother" was a necessity for my social success. Luckily, I had a friend who closely fit the bill, but it just wasn't the same.

Then, the over the next 10 years I decided that when/if I ever married, he must have a large family. I already loved these people and could not wait to consider them my own. This was likely because each of my parents embraced their "in-laws". Growing up, it was as both sides of my family had known each other forever! I wanted the same thing. I wanted holidays to be a massive gathering of people, hanging out, having fun -- it would be something like I had only seen in the movies.

At some point during the next decade, I realized I may not find the family to marry, but I had quite possibly found the "one". So, we got married. He comes from a small family, only one brother. He has a few cousins, but they are not close. This was actually a "con" I had considered when we talked about getting married. The pictures of my future were fading, and I accepted that fact. We would create pictures better than I had imagined, just different.

Now, I'm in my thirties, I thank my parents often for not having any other children. It's taken me this long to realize I'm grateful to have grown up as an only child. Now, I have no one to share the work of caring for aging parents but I have no one to disagree with over how my parents should be cared for. There is no one for me to burden with my "woes" of life, but I do not feel obligated to continually provide support for a sibling that makes bad decisions.

No longer do I wish for more family, I just pray for guidance on how to handle the family that is in my life. I try to be thankful for what I do have. I realize it is more than many have, and quite possibly all I could handle.