wow

so much has changed since i started all of this. so much i wish i would have documented. perhaps in time i will continue to use this space for reflections of my life.

i hate how the last few months of a year go so fast...the last few months of someone's life seem to go fast too. time slips by with the world not slowing down for anyone. we all have that in common. i'm sure time moves slowly for some, but not for me.

2012 has to be better. must use lessons of 2011 to make more out of our lives.

Time is Marching on...

Life has changed so much for me in the last year and a half. I would have never imagined I am where I am, never imagined the players in my life would be who they are, that some people who have always been in my life are no more.

I am thankful for the many, many blessings. Having Shelby is no doubt made such a difference in my life. She is ruling our house, she will likely always have a little ruling on my activities and may be the queen of my heart. I knew having a child would change my life, there would be no way to prepare for it, all I can do is attempt to enjoy it. Shelby is 6 months old. I haven't droppped her, lost her, or broken her too badly. Even when she is very upset, like when I bumped her head, or poked her in the eye, she is calmed by jut being held. Wouldn't it be great if that would always bring her instant ease? I want to enjoy every momenmt of her, I just don't know how to do that and hang on to it. She's growing so quickly! It is just incredible.

Many, many times, I have thought back to the days when I was pregnant. You'd go to the doctor to just hear that little heart beating. That little beat, is the sound that we knew would forever change our lives. Mortality became more apparent in those months. During that time, my childhood friend's father left this world. This, reminded me that the little beat stops, lives are forever changed, again.

It seems all of the songs are true -- "Time Marches On", "Circle of Life", "You're Gonna Miss This", "It Won't Be Like this for Long"...I'm just trying to hang on to as many of these moments as I can...all the while, trying to make time to dance.

Television Ailments

OK, I married a TV addict. This is no surprise. I knew of his condition for years prior to marriage. As a matter of fact, I'm more surprised that he didn't install cable into the house for a couple of years after we moved in. (Proof that at some point, he was money conscious.) Cable TV (specifically Comcast) has been the source of many, many unhappy days in our house over the last few months -- longer than that, but not worth going into...

A few months ago, together, we decided enough was enough. We began looking into satellite TV. We have satellite radio in his truck, and while we won't continue it, it works. The radio programming just doesn't meet our preferences. The quality is quite amazing. On our road trips, we rarely loose signal, and if we do, it's just for a blink under a bridge or through a tunnel. This TV satellite thing, wow, hold on to your pocket books because it is incredibly surprising. First of all, I think it would be easier to re-enroll in college than to learn about the options between the providers.


The details you learn when comparing providers is overwhelming. Of course, they all tell you about how much you will save over cable. Which, is really true, we're saving a ton over cable, but only for the introductory period. Of course, to sign up with a provider, we had to commit to be with them for 24 months. I know people who don't stay married for 24 months, but we just agreed to stay with a satellite provider for that long!

Direct offered more channels -- and more "on-demand" things. HE liked the on-demand, he liked the more channels, I was hoping for a DVR. With Direct, we would need a receiver for each TV that would be used. That's 3 receivers in our house. There's a monthly fee for each receiver in addition to the bucks that go out the door in the beginning just to lease the receiver. I wanted a DVR. I felt as if we needed a DVR. In reality, I'm sure we don't even need all the channels, but if he can have lots of channels, shouldn't I be able to record something on TV??? We went with Dish...few channels, yes. Cheaper price, no upfront fees to lease the HD DVR (or so we thought), DVR included (at least in the beginning), and most importantly, we know two families who use Dish.

What I've learned...
--Even with Dish, you will need multiple receivers if you wish to have your HD TV receiving an HD signal.
--Even with Dish, you will have your bill double after 6 months.
--Even with Dish, I will be able to record shows, but must watch them on that TV or the TV connected to that box. (This made me very sad.)
-- Dish has on-demand, but with way fewer things to watch on-demand.
-- The Dish receiver is only good for 2 TV's. If you have 3, you'll need more than one box inside.

Moral of the story, momma's don't let your kids grow up to be TV addicts. It's incredibly expensive and rather confusing. (This has been a real waste of my limited brain function over the last few weeks.)

So Happy, So Sad...all in the same day

The emotions of today have been great.

A childhood, lifelong friend was to deliver her twins today. She did. Twins, a boy and a girl, everyone healthy and doing well. A new world for her. She will be a great mother, he will be a fantastic dad. Those kids will be well cared for and much love will be shared because they have the family they have always wanted. I woke up thinking of them and their plans for today. As we worked this morning, we discussed what a day they must be having. I thanked God for taking such good care of them and showing us all the miracles He can give.

Then, there was tonight. My mom called, but it was an odd call. She called on his cell phone, from her cell phone. She would not tell me what she wanted, she said she'd call back later and talk to him. I was on the phone with a friend I don't talk to enough, so I let it go. I even forgot to tell him I answered her call on his cell phone. When he called her back, I didn't realize what was going on. He let me finish my call, then asked about the friend I was talking to. Then he told me why my mom called.

Another childhood, lifelong friend, a sad story. We grew up together -- from the time we were probably only 3 years old. Of all of my friends, she's no doubt known me longer than any other. Her dad died today. I cannot even put into words how great of a person he was, or how much he had to offer, or how much he will be missed. I am trying to be thankful for the time he had here, but it's just not easy, not even for me, a friend of this family.

How can this be, all within the same day, 2 new little blessings come in, and someone slips out, just like that? Feeling like life is so unfair tonight. I will have both families in my thoughts and prayers. The next few days, weeks, even months will bring upon many unexpected moments for each of them.

Body Worlds, Bodies Not Working...

Last month was my mom's birthday. She, like most people, is not the easiest to shop for. Going out to dinner is not even something she would ever ask to do. So, to celebrate, we did go out to dinner! (Hey, I like to go out, what can I say?) We had a great dinner at Ruby Tuesday's because I love their salad bar and she needs to eat more salad!

For a "gift" we took her to an exhibit at the Museum of Science. This was a traveling exhibit of the human body, hence, called Body Worlds. Quick, check out the link, because I'm not sure how long it will work. The exhibit is up this month. A year or so ago, the exhibit was here and it was all the rage! During the final weekend they even open the exhibit up 24 hours. We couldn't even get tickets for sleeping hours last time. This year, I think the controversy (or the economy) caused a serious decline in the attraction. Who knows, maybe everyone who wanted to see it went last time? Anyway, we picked an week night to go this time and pretty much had the place to ourselves. It was gross. They are real human bodies on exhibit to "bare all". There were lots of bodies showing muscles and organs. Also, there were organs displayed -- of course the ever popular smoker's lung was there. The museum has advertised the human brain exhibit there, too. (It didn't look like much to me.) There was even a special section on pregnancy. Now, I thought this to be educational, but also extremely sad. I mean, these were live beings that somehow are no longer living, but had been pregnant. They also had several fetus/infants at various stages. I had issues with this, how did they really acquire these donated bodies? (Another topic, another day, I guess...) For our group, we had a heightened interest in the liver.

Just days before Christmas my mom was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver. No, my mom is not a drinker, she never has been. At this time, they do not know the cause of the problem, and that's ok...I mean it's taken months to get an actual diagnosis out of someone! The doctor she's seeing has put her on some sort of liquid medicine that she only takes once a day, I think. The initial knowledge, I guess was a little shocking. Of course, it's serious, but so is anything that happens to one's body! The medicine made an almost immediate impact. Within a few days, my mom said her head "cleared out." (No she wasn't congested.) For months, she has felt like she's living in a fog, and the first thing she noticed with the medicine was that she could think more clearly. The energy level she had once the medicine had a few days in her system was also quite noticeable. Sadly, mom had been sluggish and exhausted all of the time. But, this medicine started taking the toxins out of her body that her liver is not filtering out. As with many medications, there are side effects. The most noticeable side effect was an increase in her sugar -- not good for the diabetes. Luckily, the medicine was adjusted and things have started to balance out better. Since December, she's been back to the doctor once for a repeat of blood work. The doctor would still like to do a biopsy and endoscopy to see how bad the damage is. Liver damage is generally not reversible, and in the most severe cases, transplants are needed. We don't know the degree of damage or the actual cause. One theory is that perhaps she was just born with poor functioning bile ducts and over time, the liver has just worn out. Only time (and more testing) will provide more answers.

Man vs Squirrel

Wow, first of all, where have I been for the last 6 weeks??? I guess growing a new little human has taken over 99% of my energy. Plus, there's the stuff that I'm supposed to be doing to prepare for previously mentioned little human. Hopefully this weekend, I'll get a better update while I supervise the construction.

On to today's topic...Man vs Squirrel. Who will prevail? A few months ago, we noticed that we had a new alarm clock, the rap-tap-tapping of a squirrel. We would hear him coming and going through the screen just outside our bedroom window. It seemed that he would leave every morning around 7 AM. Now, I think they are quite cute, I even began calling our new attic-occupant Chester. He needed a name, right? So, at first it was cute. We're having a baby, hosting a refuge for a little squirrel. Well, maybe not so cute when you consider the rodent aspect of things. Definitely not so cute when you consider that we would hear him in the attic over the office -- all of those electrical wires may be in his way.

So, the man of the house decided to do the manly thing. We waited for one of those warm winter days. Surely the attic was too warm for Chester to stay up there. He took some new screen and closed up the "entrance". He's a thoughtful guy, so he was careful not to make it too difficult to re-open, should Chester still be up there. The next morning, we were notified as usual around 7 AM that Chester had not left the day before and was hard at work trying to get out. Of course, it was rather cold, and Chester seemed rather aggravated. So, he went to open up the screen. (Not only are we letting dogs in/out, now we've added to the chore of letting squirrels in/out!) Once outside, it was apparent that Chester was quite self-sufficient. The screen had been torn open and the intruder was no where to be seen.

We decided to call in back up. We brought Reno over. He's a German shepherd mix, and known "killer" to the rodent world. Among his greatest kills have been squirrels, birds and even the occasional opossum. Well, after a week or so, Reno decided he had more interest in chasing the squirrels on the ground than in the attic. He was returned to his rightful home, without the promised steak dinner.

This week, we began some much needed home repairs. (Another topic, for another day.) Honestly, I don't know the sequence of events this week, it's been rather chaotic around here. But, he thought the squirrel was out one evening. He and my dad boarded up the entrance. Then, the next morning, yep, he was trying to get out again. At least I think that's what happened. So, he must have let him out. Chester has already sprung forward, so our time schedules are not so well coordinated. I think Chester is now coming/going around 6 AM instead of 7 AM. The area was again sealed off -- wood and screen securely put in place.

Then, this morning at around 6:30 AM....you guessed it! We hear the "rap-tap-tapping". HE could not believe that the squirrel was back in the attic. In my sleepy state (I don't care so much that this little animal is there, in the 6 AM hour, I'm still eager to sleep.) HE jumps out of bed, opens the blinds, looks out the window, and has some choice words for this little rodent. (Yes, by now the cute little squirrel is officially an uninvited rodent occupying our attic, I fear the "gifts" he may be leaving for us up there.) HE then exclaims, "He's trying to get in! He's not trapped in the attic at all. Now, I have to get rid of him."

I wanted to sleep, but, if you could have been watching this, you would have been laughing, too! He leaps out of bed, asks how cold it is outside and begins preparing for his hunt. Well, it was a rather cool morning. It was like 49 degrees outside, and so there they went to hunt the squirrel...BB gun in hand. Within about a 20 minute time span, I hear about 3 shots go off. These were 3 of the weakest shots I've ever heard. I think if a BB would have hit the window, it would have bounced off. I do not think this will actually kill this squirrel. Now, I have to get up and look to see what I see, because this has to be kind of funny. Him in his PJ's, us in the city, him using a dinky little BB gun to try to discourage a little rodent from breaking & entering into the attic. I don't think I could describe this as comically as it appeared to me.

They came back inside. He tells me his story of the hunt. Apparently he's shooting at a squirrel that may be the one occupying the attic. He shot at the squirrel in a tree and on the roof of our house. He believes the sight is off on the BB gun, so next time, he will use the old faithful BB gun from his childhood. He did not actually see the squirrel(s) attempting to get in. Still, I'm sleepy, I just don't care. Then, rap-tap-tap again! Again, he jumps up, and opens the blinds. Chester is there! Chester is looking at us, we are looking at him! HE is off, with the other BB gun. He rushes outside, this time alone because even Daisy & Missy have lost interest. I see Chester is still outside our window. He shoots, the squirrel falls. I think it is over. Of course, this BB shot did not sound anymore powerful, or harmful than before. He comes back in reporting that he hit the squirrel, he claims the squirrel jumped down, landing on all fours, then took off under the fence.

My guess, Chester will live another day to wake me up, and attempt to break into our attic.

Snowy Night, too!

Well, we had our little flurry during the day yesterday. Then, last night we were so graciously invited to dinner. When we were leaving, we couldn't believe the blanket of white over the yards -- and especially the cars! We made a couple of stops on our way home. At one house, we noticed a young couple desperately trying to rake up the snow on the ground, I'm sure to build a snow man. We saw a few cars with mini-snowmen on them. What people do in the south with a little snow!



Well, we, too were some of those people! We got home, I took pictures of the house with the snow. Then HE took the pups for a walk -- they had to be walked in the snow! He said it was important for them to experience a walk in the snow. (Yes, we're talking about dogs, but he's just so darn caring!)

When they returned, he came in and said I had to come outside. He had found a good accumulation of snow that we could play in. He was so right! At 10 PM we were outside making snowballs and playing in the snow! Rita, the beagle, just loved it! She ran around like crazy and was biting our snowballs.

Of course, we weren't out for long, but it sure was fun to just act crazy! Sadly, before we went to sleep last night, we looked outside, and it was all melted. Ahhh, snow in the south -- arrives and departs very unexpectedly!

Snowing

That's Daisy, see the little flakes on her side???



See those white streaks, yep, snow! Can you believe it?

That's my excitement for the day, week, maybe even month! Yeah!!

One me, two blogs

I really like this blogging world. I'm so lucky Heather introduced it to me. You won't hear me call this an addiction, but it is quite the way I have learned to kill a few hours.

I started another blog a few months ago, but I wanted to keep it quiet. I have kept it relatively quiet. It is not been easy to keep the two of me from intermingling and honestly, I'm not sure if they should be separate or not. But, if you click over there on the profile, you can get to that "other" blog.

This one, will hopefully be more about me. That one over there, yeah, it'll be more about "us". They're both live for now, if for some reason I decide to silence one, I'll let you know.

Black Friday

Last year, at some awful hour, my dad and I embarked on our first (and maybe last) Black Friday outing. It was a blast, and his patience was unbelievable! This year, I did not have the energy to leave my house in attempt to experience the Black Friday madness. I hear the early sales should have been great, but this way, a few bucks stayed in my pocket!

Of course, I did have the energy to get the laundry done and sit here at my computer. I thought what a perfect way to get into the holiday spirit and the trend of on-line shopping! It was a great idea, right? I was not on-line at 4 AM trying to get those big bargains. After lunch, I attempted my first shopping. The first three websites I attempted each stalled out, I gave up. I wouldn't say that I have an abundance of either patience or perseverance, so I will have to shop another way, another day!

Hope your Black Friday experience was all you were hoping for -- even if that meant just getting to sleep in this morning!

2008 -- Year of Breakage Continues

OK, here it is November. You'd have thought we were all done breaking things. WRONG.

Wednesday HE noticed the freezer didn't seem quite cold enough. I tell him he's too temperature sensitive. Thursday, we have a problem. Of course, it's 11 PM when HE finds that the ice is melting in the freezer. Immediately the poor pups are blamed for shedding so much, clogging up the airway and breaking the fridge. He took parts off and vacuumed things out. Then, he comes inside with the air hose. I could not believe my eyes, he wouldn't really blow all of the dust out of there, or would he? Yes, he would. Talk about a mess!

Of course, I plugged in the vacuum to the outlet the TV was plugged into. POOF! There went that outlet. So, buy midnight on Thursday/Friday, the fridge was getting warm and the ever so important TV outlet was no longer working.

On Friday, he was on the ball! He had a repair man to fix the fridge in and out before lunch! Apparently there is an external switch to the compressor that had gone out. As a result, it was not cooling. If the internal switch to the compressor had gone out, we would have spent the weekend shopping for a new fridge. (Let me add this to the list of my things I'm thankful for this year.)

On Saturday, he asked me if I had reversed the fan in the living room. I had no idea what he was talking about, so I had to ask for clarification. I would have never noticed that the fan was turning in the opposite direction. This fan has a remote wall thingy that you push a button to turn on the fan. Apparently people no longer want the strings hanging down to adjust the fan speed or turn the light on. All we can figure is that when the vacuum got plugged into the outlet, something caused the fan to get reversed and now the wall control doesn't work. Electricians? Not us. He did his best and promptly went to the local home store and bought replacements. No such luck.

Monday will bring us another repair person attempt. Cross your fingers we have such good luck -- this fridge guy rocked!

It's November

WOW! I can't believe it's November. Seems like just yesterday it was August!

Well, I had voted before Halloween. Halloween was another incredible disappointment. We stayed home this year. With Rita in recovery mode still, we hate to leave her for too long. She's recovering quite nicely, but she's a heap of energy and it's hard to contain her. We had planned to go to our High School homecoming game Halloween night, but well, it was just easier to stay home.

We live in a rather secluded neighborhood, and do not usually have many trick or treaters. This year we had all of about 8 and they were some rude little characters. Kids these days don't even say "Trick-or-treat". They wiped out our candy! Can you believe that? I mean, I didn't have a warehouse supply of candy, but there was a rather large bag. These not-so-little beings were not happy with the speed candy was handed out, and grabbed candy by the handful out of our candy bowl. Next year, the rules will have changed!

Lastly, sadly, the time has fallen back again. I used to love this day, an extra hour of sleep, like a little bit of heaven. HE has ruined it for me. HE hates this day; he hates it getting dark early. The best thing is that he loved it happening later this year. I keep telling him we have to be thankful for the little things! :)

Happy November -- VOTE THIS WEEK and then get to holiday shopping - the holidays will be here before we know what happened!

My Early Voting Experience

Well, first of all, it was the first time WE voted together, at the same time. We left a little later than expected, and traffic was much worse than expected, but we got there! In our area, if you early vote, you can go to any polling place that is open. I thought that was kind of neat. In our precint, they keep moving the polling place. Each election, I have to go on a hunt to find the right place. One year, I couldn't find it in time so I didn't vote. Early voting was for me -- the procrastinator!

There was voting map on line showed the places you could vote. It even indicated on average per hour how many people voted at each location in the last election. So, we looked for the closest place with the least amount of people voting and hoped for the shortest line. The procrastinator I am, we arrived at 6:51 PM, nine minutes before closing. We weren't the last people in the door, and the line was long. I was quite pleasantly surprised at the turnout for early voting.

By 7:40 we had each voted and were walking out of the polling place. It was a good voting experience. They were well staffed, maybe even a little over staffed. The staff was super nice, even though we were some of the last folks in to vote. Hopefully more people get educated and go vote! Today's the last day for early voting here, so get moving people!

GO VOTE!

I'm off to early vote tonight! I've never early voted, but I have voted in many elections. I think it's becasue my folks have always been voters, my maternal grandfather was a voter, too.

So, just a reminder -- do what you got to, but GO VOTE! Of course, get educated first! Not sure if I'm for the voting campaign or not, because I think they should be telling people, "Get educated, Go Vote!"

Can you be too responsible?

I've been a fairly responsible individual my life. I didn't cause my parents as much trouble as I could have growing up. Fortunately, they created me to be pretty self-sufficient. Throughout college, I had responsible friends. No one partied too hard, or had weekends they couldn't remember. We have all grown up, held down jobs, and everyone has done really well. (I'm probably the biggest slacker I know!)

What I wonder, is have we been "too responsible"? Will there come a time, when all of the sudden, we are tired of doing the right thing? I can just see myself, or anyone, saying, "You know, I'm just tired of putting myself last." There's no doubt it's not always the most fun thing to be "responsible". It's not even the easiest thing to do. I'm certain that most of the people I know do not live in the moment, they plan, they work their plan, and try to reward themselves a little here and there. Are we going to get tired of this? Any idea when???

I think I figured it out...

I think I was on an Olympic high??? I miss them...

Here today, gone tomorrow....

Can you believe it takes over 3 hours for my slow little hands to decorate a cake? Would you believe that someone put "handi-wrap" right over it to cover it up? I couldn't believe it. I didn't actually attend the birthday party, so when I looked at the picture on the camera, I asked why it looked so funny. Oh, well, of course, that's the plastic wrap on the cake. What else could it be???



At least there was no real damage. Here's what it looked like after the plastic wrap was removed.



The practice cake was made with two types of icing -- old stuff out of the freezer, and new stuff, out of, umm, a little plastic container. The colors looked much better in the picture than on the real cake. Since I knew one cake would probably not be enough for all of the people, I knew cupcakes or another small cake would be needed. We did 2 McQueen cakes. We were going to make a Sally, but McQueen just didn't look good enough to only have the practice one. Just in case you're wondering, I am not sure if either cake tasted good.



My dad had a wreck yesterday in his truck. Today we found out it would be a total loss. He's ok, and that's all that matters to me.

Lately...

Lately, I have not been a nice person. I have actually avoided public places, social gatherings, or other events where I may have to be nice. It's really sad, but I just think my "niceness" has expired, or ruined. I don't know what to do to get it back. I am sure that this is no way for a person to co-exist in a world with other people.

This weekend I left town. There was a hurricane coming. It was going to be bad. There was a HUGE area of possible impact. I'm certain millions of dollars were spent evacuating people and pets from the most likely impact area. Well, hurricanes...lately, they are just another item on my grumpy list. Lately, I'm tired of doing the responsible thing. (Some people felt that it would be more responsible of me to cancel my plans and sit home and wait to prepare for a hurricane that would not really affect our area.)

Lately, I'm tired of doing things for other people. I have lost the desire to donate to charities, offer meals to the homeless, or simply go beyond the bare minimum of what is required of me.

Lately, it ticks me off at myself for acting in such a selfish way. I remember a couple of years ago, I had the same problem. A good friend of mine, a mentor in many ways, put it to me quite simply. He said quit doing things for people and expecting something in return. Lately, I've had a hard time remembering that.

Maybe it's a midlife crisis? Am I old enough for one of those?

Hopefully, I had a good enough time over the weekend that I can get over it - at least some of it! I had a great holiday weekend. I'm glad that the hurricane, lack of dog sitters and just sheer worry did not keep me home this weekend. Lately I worry way too much...

Laughter

My dear husband laughs all the time. He laughs at jokes, at other's blunders, at the dogs, at things we cannot believe. Often it's his laughter that wakes me up in the morning, and sometimes it wakes me up from sleeping at night. (Seinfeld comes on at 12:30 AM and if he's not asleep, he's watching Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer.)

I'm simply just not as amused at life as he is. I'm just not as happy of a person, I guess. He LOVES to make people laugh, so it's disappointing to him that I do not laugh at his little one liners more often. He's not one to repeat jokes, but he's always looking for that quick little laugh. I think a portion of our cable bill is worth the 4-6 PM TBS showing of Seinfeld, Everybody Loves Raymond, Friends, etc. Those little 30 minute shows do wonders for a crappy day at work.

Laughter is going to be at the bottom of my '08 resolutions -- it's never to late to add resolutions if the year isn't up right? It's going to be at the top of '09. It really does make you feel better. I've just missed Jerry tonight, hopefully he's found another 30 minute sitcom for our bedtime story tonight!

Good news, bad news

I never know what should come first - the good or the bad. I wish there were a way to spit out both, so they could each smack you!

Good News -- Daisy has all her teeth! They look great, teeth cleaning went well.
Bad News -- I had to take her. It's a good thing I don't have kids, I don't know how I could handle the ups and downs. HE usually does these hard things, today, it couldn't be helped that it was me to go.

Good News -- They don't what is wrong. I guess that's the good news???
Bad News -- Today, my mom got all of the paperwork in the mail from the cancer center. Maybe it's not bad news, maybe they will figure out what is wrong, maybe they won't find anything wrong. But the unknown is difficult for me to deal with.

Good News -- A lifelong pal of mine is finally pregnant! Yeah!! Even better, twins! She's not far along, and is probably high risk, but I certainly hope her life long dream is to be a mom is six weeks closer to becoming a reality.
Bad News -- Some other lifelong friends of mine have been dealing with Syndenham Corea. They have a little boy who this has hit rather quickly over the last eight weeks or so. It's a terrible condition affecting the nervous system. It is treatable, but could likely take two years to fully recover. His parents have made the difficult decision to home school him. I know they are strong and can handle it, I cannot imagine how hard it is for them to see their otherwise healthy child go through this.

Good News -- I think I can almost explain why people want to have children. I've given it so much thought lately. I've asked several friends why they wanted to have kids. They have been great parents, some have one child, some have two. Believe it or not, there's even a few who do not have any kids, but know that they want them. Only one person has given me anything to consider. After months of trying to investigate the topic, I think I'm beginning to understand exactly what it is that drives people to parenthood.
Bad News -- I'm still not sure I'm ready to ride that train. Selfish mostly. I just don't know if I'm ready to deal with the bad that may or may not even happen with the ride. I don't know if that reason is worth giving up the good that goes with it.

Well, now that I have a lot of that off my chest, the world will feel lighter right?